Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Nintendo Releases First Look At Pokémon Scarlet And Violet Running At 60 FPS On Switch 2 - Game Informer

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

No. 2 Coco Gauff faces No. 1 Aryna Sabalenka in French Open women’s final - NBC Sports

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

How do people in your country say "you're welcome" in their native language(s)? Is it a commonly known phrase or do most people just reply with "no problem"?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What historical event or person have you surprised hasn't been made into a Hollywood movie yet?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

How do we write and pronounce "it's my pleasure" in Italian?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Meta takes $15 billion stake in Scale AI in bid to catch competitors - The Washington Post

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Has anyone liked being made a cocksucker?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Sir Keir Starmer announces national inquiry into grooming gangs - BBC

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have a reading level above third grade

I can count

Why is it important for Hollywood celebrities to come out against Trump?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

A Closer Look At Uranus’s Moons Reveals a Surprising Dark Side - Gizmodo

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I see through liars

How safe is it to travel to Kashmir in 2024?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Scottie Scheffler Calls US Open at Oakmont 'The Hardest Golf Course...Maybe Ever' - Bleacher Report

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

watchOS 26 adds new wrist flick gesture for these Apple Watch models - 9to5Mac

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I can read

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t cotton to rapists